Crystal Matthews (catwoman77666) wrote,
Crystal Matthews
catwoman77666

BEER WARNING LABELS

Due to increasing product liability litigation, American beer
brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers :

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
asshole.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring
story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN !!!

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your pants.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may make your think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung
Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning
and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't
remember).

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem
to literally disappear.

WARNING :
The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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